Goddamn is it Summer yet?

Hey readers.

Man I am sick of school. I hate my thesis, which at this point is five months late. I have realized that I am trying to write a vaguely defined Urban Sociology paper in the guise of an overly ambitous History thesis. I am suppossed to be churning out "Motown Arabs: An Urban Historical and Geographic Narrative", but I just can't bring myself to feel good about it. I have been procrastinating for months because I am totally sick of having to write history papers. They end up being simply idealogical positing and philosophical blustering most of the time. And I fear that my paper will be poorly received by my teachers.

Maybe that's because I realized that I don't like History that much as a potential profession. I am much more interested in social iniquity and culture than political theory. Plus I hate the way Historians write. I think every book - academic or otherwise - should be written with the clarity of Jonathan Kozol's Savage Inequalies, the passion of Mike Davis' City of Quartz, and the thoughtful pleading for a better world of Eric Klinenberg's Heat Wave. I like that sociologists write like advocates for social change. That's how I would want to write a book.

I had a good day though. The director of UC's McNair Postbaccalaureate Achievement Program told me that their program can fund me for another summer research project. That was an unexpected boon, since I am only suppossed to get one such shot. God bless the McNair people; they do Good Work. I then had a meeting with UC's resident Urban Sociologist, who agreed to advise my hypothetical summer research project and helped me identify a topic and some possible research methods. I think I am going to do something about my neighborhood - Northside, which I love and am also fascinated by intellectually. I am considering researching the history/patterns of demographic change and segregation in the neighborhood. Northside is one of Cincinnati's most integrated neighborhoods, but we both agreed that clear race and, to a lesser extent, class divisions do exist. So that should be cool. I have always wanted to spend more time hanging out in Northside, interviewing residents, and studying the community.

For the past several years I have fighting a massive internal infection of the common fugus candida albicans that was caused by my being overprescribed antibiotics for recurrent sinus infections. Ironically I had sinus infections because my allergies were going crazy, the antibiotics kill off one's immune system, making allergies worse, making for more infections (sinus and otherwise). It creates a viscous cycle of destruction. I almost died last April. Most Western doctors don't beleive that such problems are possible, but I firmly beleive that I have the bug. I read a few books on it that are generally discredited by the American Medical Association, but I had all the mysterious symptoms that they described and conventional doctors had nothing to help me with. In fact a few told me that I could not possibly be that sick and that I needed psychological help. That was really shitty. The overall results have included horrendous allergies/intolerances to most foods and many other common things, extreme fatigue, debilatating headaches, depression, decreased immunity, indigestion, oily skin, low libido, bad breath, thrush, body odor, muscle cramps, joint stiffness, mental 'fogginess', poor circulation, and generally feeling like crap. I finally found a doctor that I like that treats candida, a Russian immigrant homeopath who specializes in administering regular Vitamin C IV's to heal immune systems destroyed by antibiotics. In addition to the forementioned injections, in order to regain my health I have to follow very strict dietary guidelines that disallow any starches, breads, pasta, sugar, fruit, all alchoholic beverages, and also a lot of vegetables. I have a had a hard time following the restricted diet because it is expensive, time consuming, and I am a poor and overworked student. When I was in Boston last month I cheated and ate lots of Mexican food and drank beer. Boston has really good Mexican food, and I have to say that draft Murphy's stout was probably the best beer I ever had. But then when I came back I developed a massive resperatory infection and got really sick. I am still fighting it off. So I have to get back on the restriction diet, and get serious about my health. I have been really good for the last two weeks, but I am undergoing yeast die off and it is making me exhausted. When the infection dies it causes even more fatigue because your body is overwhelmed with dead, toxic, yeast to process and elimanate. It's like having a hangover for weeks, actually pretty biologically similar from what I understand.

I graduate next Spring, and I have decided to take some time off to work, relax, regain my healh, and fix my house. I have set the tentative goal of fully healing myself and recovering before I go off to grad school. Being sick as hell all the time made my life a nightmare in Undergrad, and I don't ever want to go through that again. I am thinking of joining the apprencticeship program for the local plumer's union - since I have always wanted a trade and need to earn some cash - and volunteering part time to work with poor inner-city kids. I want to be a tutor or a mentor or something. I feel like I haven't done enought to try to make the world better since I started school. I didn't have time and I was surrounded by people who were mostly apathetic about the issues I care about. That was really draining on a few levels.

At least its Spring. One more month of this crap and then I can relax and play with my dogs. I am going camping for a week after finals.