Monday, April 7, 2008

A List of Businesses and Institutions that make Cincinnati funky, weird, and worthwhile

Ace Hardware, Hamilton Ave., Northside - a truly one-of-a-kind experience, Bill has been an institution since 1948. Look for all the merchandise that they stopped making before you were born.
Camp Washington Chili, Hopple and Colerain, - open 24 hrs.!, delicous goetta and cheese omelettes
Beck's Paint and Hardware, McMillan and May, Walnut Hills - great products and service, Stan is the man
Building Value LLC, Gilbert Ave., Walnut Hills - hard-to-find used house parts at good prices. I bought a 1920's gas kitchen stove there for $200.
Garden Street Scrap Metal, Spring Grove Ave., Camp Washington - a monument to scrap metal. If I were a character in "Mad Max" I would definiteley hang out there. But I do that anyways...
Frisch's breakfast buffet, everywhere (I like the one on Central Parkway) - all you can eat eggs, sausage, and grease for only $8!
Alabama Fish Bar, Race and Liberty, OTR - 5 pc. whiting dinner, an order of fries, bread, onions, and peppers for an astounding $6. Long lines form around the corner on weekends.
B&B Tire Town, Spring Grove Ave., Northside - quality used tires and cheap oil changes.
The Hansa Guild, Ludlow Ave., Clifton - Greta and Carlos were great neighbors to us for years. They also sell nice hats and know lots about Central America.
Keller's IGA, Ludlow Ave., Clifton - be sure to say 'hi' to Jerry the crazy wheelchair-bound panhandler/ex-biker who sits out front smoking a pipe. He likes to tell people about his grandson the U.S. Marine.
The Shop, West Nixon, Clifton - Rick is a great and very honest independant mechanic - a dying breed. He also loves to talk about all the souped-up cars he's ever owned and how fast he drove them on city streets.
The Good Stuff, across from the scrapyard, Spring Grove Ave., Camp Washington - used everything in an old factory. I bought my neighbors' kids a huge galvanized steel swimming pool there for $75 once.
Yesterday's Treasures (Crazy Larry's), Kemper and McMillan, Walnut Hills - three floors of inacessible piles of smelly junk in an abandoned apartment building, although Crazy Larry usually refuses to part with any of it for any price. Not sure if Crazy Larry is still open; it was never too organized.
Shaeper's Pharmacy, Chase and Hamilton, Northside - old school drugstore, cheap loratadine
Rio Grande, Newport shopping center - cheap Mexican food and white trash margaritas. I like to sit near the bar and watch Mexican soap operas and game shows on the big screen while I eat nachos.
House of Adam, Sixth and Vine, downtown - lots of cool shoes and hats that old black men think are really classy and sharp. The only place in Cincinnati to buy old-ass-style two-tone spectators. Has been there forever.
The Surplus Work Clothes Co., Montgomery and Sherman - Norwood's own discount Carhartt outlet.
Duttenhoffer's Used Books, McMillan Ave., Clifton Heights - a landmark for obscure texts and unforgettable for its pungent moldy smell. Good books can be found cheap if you have the time to browse.
Ollie's Trolley, Liberty and Parkway, OTR - the best burgers in the 'hood, homemade sauce, and a big mural of local black heroes.
St. Vincent de Paul Store, Este Ave., Winton Place - the biggest cheapest thrift store I know of
Kentucky Motor Service, Newport - they always have parts for my '65 Plymouth in stock without fail, and I like the atmosphere
Putz's Creamy Whip, West Fork and Montana - awesome homemade ice cream in Mt. Airy Forest
Campus Cyclery, Hughes Corner, Clifton Heights - sometimes pretentious, but always knowledgeable and into the whole bikes-not-cars mentality, waterproof backpacks and luxury bike accessories.
Salvation Army, Norwood - huge and well-stocked, although sometimes overpriced
Busch's Amish Meats, Findlay Market - the freshest chicken I have ever bought. Findlay Market in general is pretty awesome, but I have crazy food allergies so I have as of yet been unable to sample most of the fare sold there. Produce is usually cheap though and there are some good specialty stores.
House of Shirts, Main St., downtown - run by a senile old Jew, a holdout from a bygone era of independent clothiers and merchants.
Arnold's Bar, E. 8th, downtown - the oldest bar in Cincinnati. It was opened before the Civil War and appears to have not changed at all in about eight decades. The Cincinnati Dancing Pigs jugband plays the first Saturday of every month.
Fausto Ferrari Barbershop, downtown, Garfield and Vine - a great haircut in a Victorian barbershop from an 80-year old Italian immigrant who speaks broken English and wears a tie everyday to work.
The Anchor, Covington - open 24/7, cheap food, miniature mechanical dancing band!
Cincinnati Electrical Repair, OTR, Elm St. - good powertools, sales and service. Bosch.
The Mockbee Heavy Hardware Company, Spring Grove Ave., Northside - for all your structural steel, rebar, rigging shackle, cable, and other heavy hardware needs.
The University of Cincinnati Surplus Equipment Management Sale, old Sears bldg., Reading and Lincoln, Avondale - a once-a-month blowout of cut-rate used institutional furniture, lab equipment, appliances, and other sundries - I bought my 'fridge there for $20 last July.
Northside Farmers Market, Lingo and Hamilton, Northside - once a week in summer, freindly people
Northside Neighborhood Yard Sale - people in Northside tend to accrue interesting antiques and junk and they love to chat about it
The Southgate House, Newport - get drunk in an old Victorian mansion that looks like the Adams Family house, while listening to good music. Also the place that the Gatlin gun was invented, and owned by my economic geography professor's dad. I saw Ralph Stanley there live in 2003.
Parker Woods, Northside - a 58-acre park two blocks from my house where I take my dogs to run around most days, actually Cincinnati has lots of cool parks, other favorites include:
Mt. Storm, Clifton - pretty and well-maintained, scenic view
Mt. Airy Forest, Mt. Airy - friggin' huge
Eden Park/Krohn Conservatory, Walnut Hills - pretty, the Conservatory is free and lush and a good place to go when winter is too depressing
Mt. Echo, Price Hill - an awesome view of downtown from the West Side
Spring Grove Cemetary, Winton Place - a huge and historic cemetary with very pretty landscaping. It's like a nice Victorian park that happens to house dead rich people. Bring something to feed the ducks, who are very friendly and poop everywhere.
Price Hill Scenic Overlook, West 8th and Matson, a great spot to catch an awesome view of the city at night, located where the Price Hill incline used to land at the top of the hill.
Carew Tower, Fifth and Vine, downtown - you can pay $3 to go out on the observation deck of the tallest skyscaper in Cincinnati (49 stories) and on a clear day you can see all of the basin and everything on the edges of the all the hills around it. The building is listed on the National Register of Historic Places and is also home to the local Hilton Hotel. The art deco bar in the lobby is incredible.
The Main Branch of the Cincinnati Public Library, 8th and Vine, downtown - say what you will about the Queen City's lack of sophisticated culture, we have an awesome public library for a city this size. It occupies two square blocks and the films and recordings section was recently reorganized and expanded.
Over the Rhine - the city's oldest residential neighborhood and currently a nationally notorious ghetto (a la the 2001 Cincinnati riots), OTR comprises the US of A's largest collection of 19th-century Italianette architecture. The entire 352-acre neighborhood was recently placed on the National Historic Register's 11 Most Endangered Places List. Gentrification efforts are underway currently and total yuppification is expected to be complete within a few decades. Personally, the non-rehabbed parts of OTR most remind me of my time in Havana, Cuba in 2002. The dirty streets even smell like the third world. Home to crackheads, homeless shelters, art galleries, historic churches, struggling families, Music Hall and - more recently - the Art Academy of Cincinnati and several trendy new stores for hispters. A new School for Creative and Performing Arts is under construction just South of Washington Park.

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